What Tech to Look Out for in 2024 (a satire written by chatgpt)
This is a reference to an article back in 2016.
As we bid farewell to the groundbreaking tech of 2023 — goodbye, iPad Pro and Count Dracula’s numerical confusion — let’s brace ourselves for the seismic waves of innovation about to hit us in 2024. Buckle up, because we’re diving deep into the abyss of technological absurdity. Here’s a sneak peek into the future, or as I like to call it, the “byte”-side of life.
1. Quantum Papyrus Scrolls: The Future of Sustainable Reading
Move over, e-books; the tech revolution in 2024 brings us Quantum Papyrus Scrolls. These paper-based marvels boast resolution levels that make your best OLED screen weep with envy. Thanks to nanotechnology (or at least, we suspect it is), these scrolls are virtually indestructible. Did your ancient wisdom repository get caught in the rain? No problem — just leave it out to sunbathe, and voila, it’s as good as new. The only catch: it’s not backlit, but fear not! Rumor has it that an update named “Lamp” is on the horizon.
2. Psychic Turn Signal Blinker: Communicate with the Road
Forget self-driving cars; the real star of 2024 is the Psychic Turn Signal Blinker. Already secretly integrated into most vehicles (or so we believe), this hidden gem allows you to telepathically communicate with fellow drivers when you plan to make a turn. It’s so discreet that even some drivers seem oblivious to its existence. But fear not, car manufacturers are gearing up to unveil this next-level telepathic tech to the masses.
3. Temporal Timepiece: The Watch That Just Watches the Clock
In a world obsessed with multifunctional wearables, the Temporal Timepiece stands alone. This technological marvel takes a step back from the chaos of apps and notifications, embracing the philosophy of doing one thing exceptionally well — telling time. Unfathomably, this watch boasts an unparalleled battery life, sparing us the anxiety of forgetting to charge yet another device. Will this minimalist approach catch on? Only time will tell, quite literally.
These predictions are, of course, purely speculative, and the whims of tech evolution are as unpredictable as a cat on a Roomba. So, fasten your seatbelts, charge your crystal ball, and get ready for 2024 — a year where the line between innovation and absurdity blurs like never before. And who knows, in 2025, we might witness the birth of “hire a human” — because in the age of AI, nothing beats good old-fashioned conversation and a familiar face.
